It’s wedding season and I’m seeing and hearing from a lot of couples now who are ready to deal with… ***drum roll***

***The Seating Plan***

One of the biggest stresses in planning the finer detail of your wedding can be the seating/table plan.

I advise my couples not to try and plan them out too carefully early on

it can be valuable time you might want to spend elsewhere before you have even sent out your invites… but guess what I started doing just the other day for my November 2020 wedding?
Yes, that’s right ,I began plotting out who might sit where… Oh my word…

Don’t stress!

First of all, I just want to say (easier to say than to do!) don’t panic about it.

The seating arrangements for your day don’t have to take on any formal set up – not if you don’t want them to.

I am often asked this question:

‘Who is supposed to sit on the top table’?

The truth is nowadays with changing/blended families, step parents, and far more couples who already have children getting married there is no ‘right’ way to do anything.
It’s YOUR day. So enjoy it.

If you are really struggling to work out who you really want to sit with you for breaking your fast together for the first time as husband and wife (the reason it is traditionally called a Wedding Breakfast), then keep it simple.


The bride sits with her new husband to her left and her father to the right, with her new mother in law next to him. The mother of the bride then sits next to her new son in law, with his father next to her. You can then have other members of the bridal party if there is room, bridesmaids, or the best man and an usher but these are really down to personal preference.A sweetheart table, with just the two of you is a lovely modern and rather romantic way to begin your lives together.

So WHO is going to sit with WHOM?

You don’t have to mix things up – if what you really want is for everyone to relax and enjoy the day, then why not seat those who already know each other/get on well together? It might be an opportunity for them to catch up that they haven’t had for ages.

Check first with the venue the maximum number of people seated on one table. That is bound to save you a bit of a headache.

Consider the idea of a larger communal type affair with ‘legs’ of tables rather than round ones if your venue can accommodate that.

Please try not to stress over it, although I know it is easier said than done. And remember nothing is set in stone until it has gone to print!

There’s a nice easy way to plan this out, to begin with.

1. Get a pad of post-it notes, and have to hand your completed guest list, after receiving all RSVPs.

2. Using a large sheet of paper/roll of lining paper or something equally large, sketch out roughly how many tables you can fit in your reception venue, or how many the wedding coordinator has advised you will need for your numbers (This varies from venue to venue but is usually a minimum of 8 guests per table and an absolute maximum of 12, depending on the size of the room!)

Get writing!

3. Using each post-it, one per guest write out their names and start to place them on the tables you think they are likely to be sitting on, with the people you would like to sit them next to.

4. As you change your mind or it becomes apparent there are too many on one table, you can simply chop and change the notes around to work with what you feel will be the most comfortable on your big day. Remember that it is your day and if you would feel unhappy to have 85 year old Auntie Ethel sat next to your work friends, then move her.

The beauty of this is you can switch and swap to your hearts content without re writing or getting frustrated with your slow computer or whatever method may otherwise drive you up the wall!

Take your time with this! It is the one part of planning the day that could make or break the atmosphere, and you won’t feel relaxed if you are fretting that your distant relatives aren’t mixing with any of the other guests – nothing wrong with mixing things up a bit.

I am of course able to offer these complete with gorgeous luxurious frames and beautifully mounted and hand finished so please do get in touch if you would like to know how I can help. I actually love making these, the combinations of names fascinate me, I like to try and spot tables with the same names together as celebrity couples, always makes me smile.

My last word, for the moment…


There’s no right or wrong here. It is a good thing to get so that it ‘feels’ right, but don’t make it something to cause you upset or anxiety, it isn’t really that big a deal. As long as you are together with the people you love on your special day and you have your new husband or wife by your side, what else is there?I hope you have found this helpful, would love to read your comments below if you would like to share them.

Many thanks for reading, and happy planning!