Some time ago I remember sitting in my friend’s lounge talking about how overwhelming maintaining a house like hers (its big!), having a full time job and coping with a child with Asperger’s could be (I don’t have a big house but I do have a child, well young adult now but this was a while ago) while everyone around her seemed to make it look so easy.
I clearly recall how she had decided to relieve some of this overwhelm by paying a man to come and clear her garden (also large!). She told me how guilty she felt watching this man working really hard cutting back and shifting a lot of tree trunks and all sorts of other nature related ‘stuff’ from her garden while she sat there in her dressing gown with a cup of tea.
​She just kept thinking to herself ‘I should be out there doing that, I’m just sat here in my dressing gown’. And then it dawned on her, he obviously enjoyed his work, and was earning a nice sum of money doing it, while she recuperated from a particularly stressful week both at work and at home.

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And it was at this point I remember thinking I am no longer going to use the word ‘should’. There is no right or wrong in life, not really.
Everyone has their own way of doing things and this most definitely applies to planning your wedding!
You will find a weird and wonderful mix of ‘helpful’ friends and family telling you about all the things you ’have’ to do, ‘must have’, and ‘should be’ looking at or buying for your special day.

The actual truth is, you have never been in this situation before. You and your soon to be spouse are on a really magical journey that can never be repeated! You will find so much advice and so many suggestions out there about colours, themes, matching things, styled things, must haves, cant do withouts, and it will probably confuse the bejingles out of you. (I don’t know what bejingles are but it sounds nice).And regardless of however many of your friends have married recently (there’s going to be at least 1) they are not you! They don’t have your tastes, your budget, your other half’s hopes and dreams to bring together with a wonderful fairytale theme or a rustic one (or any other one that takes your fancy!) so don’t worry!
​They all mean well, they all want to share with you the things about their day that worked well or didn’t, and some of that will be extremely useful but I can almost guarantee that some of it will just cause friction.

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Never mind what you think you ‘should’ have… choose what you really want!
Please remember above all else that is really is YOUR special day, to be done your way, in your time (hopefully there’ll be more than enough of that if you’re organised) and that is really all that matters.
They will be your memories for a long time to come and there can be nothing worse than looking back and thinking ‘I wish I had done x or y the way I wanted’.
On that note, when I got married 13 years ago the one thing I didn’t do the way I wanted (not really) was choosing the music that accompanied me as I walked down the aisle.

I really really wanted to walk down the aisle to Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy… but that is another story!
​Much love,
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